A Good Day

Sunday is a day of rest, rest from the expectations, and the assumptions. A day for me, it feels lovely. I delight in going out alone. With no pressure to entertain, I am able to just relax and be. It was a short drive to Grand Prairie this afternoon. The proximity of the towns allowed for a lovely dinner at The Keg, and time to absorb the love story of King Kong.

I sat quietly in the corner, book in hand. The pecan glazed steak melted under my knife, and for a brief eternity I was lost. The voices of my chosen novel echoed. Though created in my mind the characters came alive as the flavour of the Shiraz washed over my tongue. Chocolate mousse disappeared as I paused to contemplate my life, and my emotions. The taste still lingers.

A lone couple snuggled, four rows behind me, as the images flashed before an otherwise empty theatre. My eyes glazed as tears welled uncontrollably. Beautiful sorrow captivated my heart, yet I found myself silently pleading, just let him live, leave him alone…

I remember a time when I could not be alone. I remember the excruciating emptiness, and desperately craving human interaction. Those years have faded into diary entries. Now I long for extended moments of freedom, for moments alone. Free from entertaining, free from the illusion. I cherish my tears and my weakness. I appreciate my hopes and my smile. Alone, I know it’s real.

Finally, I am able to feel. Isolated, I can express myself. Staring at the ceiling I can contemplate my choices, my desires, and my dreams.

It has been a good day.