Ryann Reflections

A glimpse into the life of one anti-social stripper nerd.

Thursday, September 29, 2005


What is wrong with these people!?don't they have mothers that taught them right from wrong?Sigh... I just got fined $100 for not doing a shower show that they didn't tell me about. then to be yelled at by the DJ (who didn't tell me) as soon as I get off the stage "why the fuck didn't you do a shower show. how fucking stupid are you!?"I already DID a shower show today, I've been covering their ass doing them favours, picking up extra shows all week. and that cheap ass manager tells me his hands are tied because I should have known.. just so he can make an extra buck. I miss Calgary.

But initial rage aside stuff like this just infuriates me. There are enough situations in life that aren't fair without small petty people power tripping.
I need to breathe and realize that I am better than that manager. He obviously is lacking in respect for himself and the people around him if he feels the need to take money from dancers like myself for his mistake.

I could act self-righteous, and I am very tempted to scream and shout, to look at my life and my accomplishments, my journey and compare that to his. middle aged petty manger of a struggling strip club... and perhaps I should. perhaps I do need to remind myself of how irrelevant he is to my reality. because really, the $100 doesn't matter.

I'm here to make my money, pay off my student loans and save enough to go back to school. it's good to have friends that remind me of that. that know who I am and where I come from. It's good to have people in my life that keep me grounded, keep me real, keep me from becoming lost in the industry.

I know who I am.


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