Ryann Reflections

A glimpse into the life of one anti-social stripper nerd.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Almost home...

I’m on my way home. The horizon is melting into cotton candy and marshmallow waves as I wait patiently to glimpse the mountains. My laptop bumps against the seat in front of me, a glaring reminder of the limited personal space. The directional artificial lighting from above blends with the raw sunlight creating harsh shadows that seems to diminish the individuality of the other passengers. Distracted I stare aimlessly out the window, white speckled fields cover the earth below, and I know I’m not there yet… just a few more hours.

It’s been an amazing couple of months, and I feel I have learned so much in such a short time. I’m returning home with new friendships, experiences, and opportunities multiplying before me. My birthday is coming up, and I’m wrapping up my twenty-fifth year exuberant and energized.

I’ll be back in the Toronto area, at Whiskey, in the middle of January. Until then it’s my time. Six weeks on the west coast lay before me. I have time to relax and enjoy the friendships dearest to my heart, time to explore and prepare for my next challenges, time to escape for lunches with Daddy, and even time to indulge my mother’s “to do” list.

I’ve been thinking about choices lately, about Who I Am today and how far I’ve come in the past couple of years. When I started dancing I was devastated. I felt as though I had fallen off a cliff and had lost all sense of purpose. Today, I am passionate, confident, inspired, and simply fabulous.

I guess I’m just feeling thankful for everything. I have an amazing family, and the best friends anyone could ever dream of. I have a welcoming home, and a solid foundation. I have a job that I love, that is intensifying opportunities for growth and discovery. I’m returning home with a shiny “Miss Congeniality” trophy and to me it means so much more than a simple award. To walk into a new environment, a contest, and be able to easily become a part of the structure, organization, and flow of the event confirms how much I have learned. I made a difference, and I did it professionally, while making friends and contacts. I used to run events, competitions, but now I truly know my personal strength. I met a handful of incredible women during this tour, women I am proud to be developing friendships with, and that I am eager to be collaborating with. I have so much respect and admiration for the beauty and strength of character I’ve come to know. I can’t wait to be a part of the creation of something bigger than the individual, something incredible. I can feel it.

It’s all fan-fucking-tastic!

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