Ryann Reflections

A glimpse into the life of one anti-social stripper nerd.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

The Musician

I’m thinking about him. The taste of him, the feel of his body against mine, I’m still glowing. I simply adore him, not the idea of him, or false expectations of him… but every beautiful imperfection, and every sensual detail. I love the raw desire in his voice when I hear his voice on the phone. I love the easy friendship, and uncensored conversations. I love watching him. Distracted, he changes topics on a whim flipping from opinions of celebrities to sexual requests and tales of past and potential romances.

I love how he touches me, impatiently savoring the moment. Tension had been building for weeks, months as distance forced the game of passive teasing. I love the salt of his skin, and the softness of his lips. I love the energy that crackles between us. I love giving myself to him. I love how he takes me.

I don’t need him to be anything more in my life. I don’t need him to love me, or chase me, or need me. I simply appreciate the beauty of our unique relationship. I create an open atmosphere of acceptance and appreciation. He knows with me he can just be, free from judgment or external expectations. What I need, he gives me. He provides an escape from my chosen isolation, a secluded affair uncomplicated in its simple truths.

I watch in awe as his fingers move over the strings creating a moment of truth. His voice moves through my body, sensual and beautiful. Lyrics fill the room, and fill my soul with compassion. He’s so fucking talented it scares me. I could watch him play forever. I could close my eyes and just be perfectly content in the presence of such potent creativity. He's amazing.

There are moments when I loose myself and hope for more, when I crave more… more time, more opportunity, more affection… but I don’t really want it, or need it. He gives me everything I need in an ideal diversion. He keeps me from settling. He keeps me independent and single, searching.

It’s been an incredible weekend. As strange as it might be, I am incredibly thankful to have The Musician in my life. I know the day will come when the affair must end. But at this point in my life, he’s everything I need.



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