B&E
I broke into my house in Yellowknife.
No, really I did.
I arrived at midnight, after an evening of delayed flights and mixed drinks, to a very dark house. No one was opening the doors. I banged on the door. I phoned the house. I phoned the bar. I rang the doorbell a lot, and then I rang it again… Then I exclaimed “fuck this!” and started to problem solve.
I’m NOT inclined to sleep on the porch, and the window was open so…
Giggling and as graceful as a sack of potatoes, my buddy boosted me up to the open window. I clung to the edge perilously and wriggled through the window, giggling, squealing and complaining about how fat my hips are. I’m sure my ass bent over the window sill was a lovely sight.
Face first into the curtains I toppled onto the floor. Unscathed and extremely proud we exchanged a triumphant high-five. Clunking, laughing, and slightly intoxicated we hauled my stuff into the house just in time to wake up the girl sleeping downstairs.
Of course I scared the living shit out of her with the racket of breaking into her house (apparently she doesn’t wake up to doorbells). It’s all good, because she’s cool and she knows I’m not really crazy. After a very brief explanation of my skills she rolled her eyes and went to bed. It’s all good. I’m inside! I have my bed, AND I have the dancer house to myself for a week!
I’m ready for two weeks in Yellowknife!! Whoo hoo!!
No, really I did.
I arrived at midnight, after an evening of delayed flights and mixed drinks, to a very dark house. No one was opening the doors. I banged on the door. I phoned the house. I phoned the bar. I rang the doorbell a lot, and then I rang it again… Then I exclaimed “fuck this!” and started to problem solve.
I’m NOT inclined to sleep on the porch, and the window was open so…
Giggling and as graceful as a sack of potatoes, my buddy boosted me up to the open window. I clung to the edge perilously and wriggled through the window, giggling, squealing and complaining about how fat my hips are. I’m sure my ass bent over the window sill was a lovely sight.
Face first into the curtains I toppled onto the floor. Unscathed and extremely proud we exchanged a triumphant high-five. Clunking, laughing, and slightly intoxicated we hauled my stuff into the house just in time to wake up the girl sleeping downstairs.
Of course I scared the living shit out of her with the racket of breaking into her house (apparently she doesn’t wake up to doorbells). It’s all good, because she’s cool and she knows I’m not really crazy. After a very brief explanation of my skills she rolled her eyes and went to bed. It’s all good. I’m inside! I have my bed, AND I have the dancer house to myself for a week!
I’m ready for two weeks in Yellowknife!! Whoo hoo!!
2 Comments:
At 10:51 AM, Cairde said…
Now there's a picture! LOL Maybe something for the photo album entitled, "The Not-So-Glamorous Ryann Rain in all her B&E Glory". Be glad you were clothed, friend of mine went into her jacuzzi recently at midnight in the buff, and locked the door behind her. After nearly falling down the stairs laughing at her, her husband let her back in...1/2 hour later!
At 5:35 PM, Anonymous said…
To the previous comment
LOL SUCKER
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