Ryann Reflections

A glimpse into the life of one anti-social stripper nerd.

Sunday, June 11, 2006


Be warned this post is likely to be as scattered as the thoughts in my head. The appearance is calm and reserved. Like a volcanic island, I am portraying an image of serene detachment. Beneath the surface my mind is racing. Circling around so many questions, thoughts, philosophies, purposes, ideas, observations... there is too much to draw any linear conclusions. That path will not be simple. I am spiraling around a vortex of potentials... in awe of the possibilities as they appear before me. The journal is being filled, the books are being devoured. I've just arrived in Slovakia, and no... I don't know why I'm here. I know I'm searching for something and although I don't expect to find answers on the other side of the world I hope to find something. I hope my reason for taking this journey appears soon. In the past week I've been in Scotland, London, Paris... and now Slovakia. The days are blending together and I enjoyed the mellow day of travel. I needed a day to stare out the window and absorb the world. I need to be present in every moment. I miss work. I know that may sound strange to many people... but it's not just a job to me. It's a part of me. I did work a day in Paris, next door to the Moulin Rouge. It illuminated how much I am craving work. I miss being on stage, feeling the lights on me as the music rushes through my body. I miss the feel of sweat and the beat of my pulse. I miss the expression. I miss creating a moment. I will be back at work in a couple weeks. Today I need to experience what this place has to offer.

I’m lost. I wonder what I'm searching for.



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