waiting to jump...

Darkness replaces the glimmer of dawn I expect to see when my eyes open. My circadian rhythms have not caught up to the pacific sun. My body is exhausted. Blind faith in the digital numbers of my mobile reminds me of what time I ought to feel.

I’m home; home in my borrowed bed, staring at the scattered collection of belongings I’ve accumulated over the past ten months. I need to pack. Suddenly I’m finding myself torn as to why I’m packing. What am I doing? Why am I in Canada? Perhaps I should jump off the cliff and grab a new idea. Perhaps I should put faith in learning, and giving. I could remember how fulfilling it is to teach. I could…

I’m waiting…

Waiting to hear the reality, waiting to find out the logistics, waiting to decide… I’m trying to be patient and sensible. But I am. I’m not making rash choices without forethought. But when a path appears I do not hesitate. I feel it just beyond my fingertips. I feel it growing in my heart.

I’m waiting to jump…