Ryann Reflections

A glimpse into the life of one anti-social stripper nerd.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

waiting to jump...

Darkness replaces the glimmer of dawn I expect to see when my eyes open. My circadian rhythms have not caught up to the pacific sun. My body is exhausted. Blind faith in the digital numbers of my mobile reminds me of what time I ought to feel.

I’m home; home in my borrowed bed, staring at the scattered collection of belongings I’ve accumulated over the past ten months. I need to pack. Suddenly I’m finding myself torn as to why I’m packing. What am I doing? Why am I in Canada? Perhaps I should jump off the cliff and grab a new idea. Perhaps I should put faith in learning, and giving. I could remember how fulfilling it is to teach. I could…

I’m waiting…

Waiting to hear the reality, waiting to find out the logistics, waiting to decide… I’m trying to be patient and sensible. But I am. I’m not making rash choices without forethought. But when a path appears I do not hesitate. I feel it just beyond my fingertips. I feel it growing in my heart.

I’m waiting to jump…

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5 Comments:

  • At 5:52 PM, Blogger Cairde said…

    Wow, it must be a sad life to have such a feeble mind as to have nothing better to do but post offensive messages on someone's personal blog. Goodluck with obtaining maturity Mr/Ms Anonymous.

    Ryann - I have no doubt you will find a path..one of many great ones you have yet to follow. :)

     
  • At 9:34 PM, Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said…

    Ryann, you will be okay. Just listen to the voice that guides you; it's in there.

    Turn off anonymous comments so fuckhead assholes can't leave you inflammatory comments.

    None of us need to read that crap, it's so yucky.

     
  • At 6:29 AM, Blogger Saltyknees said…

    Anonymous is a cowardly moron. The type to call in false alarms. A gong in the wind. To be ignored.

    I agree with Recovering Straight Girl. You know what to do. Listen to your inner voice.

    And good luck.

     
  • At 7:56 AM, Blogger Ryann said…

    sigh... some people are lost in so much hatred and fear. I can't imagine how unfortunate it must be to live without love and acceptance, to wake up and be so lost...

    of course therapy would be far more productive than posting shit on my blog. tsk tsk. (delete)

    as for me... I'm fucking amazing. I'm surrounded in friends, sunshine, love, and inspiration.

     
  • At 10:39 PM, Anonymous Gölök Z. L. F. Buday said…

    Well avoid the cliff, all be it may kill off the "Why am I in Canada" question or the need for it, but then again it's a big gamble; when if it fails and your stuck in a lousey Canadian Emergency room.

     

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