fat day

I’m having a fat day. August was just entirely too lazy for me and I’m still working injured. I pulled my groin two months ago and it’s still bothering me. Of course I’ve worked through the entire injury- because what choice do I have really? I’m not covered by worker’s compensation because I’m not an employee and I don’t pay for benefits. I can’t afford to take months off to nurse a little boo-boo. Really it’s not too bad unless I squat, arch, or spread. (Oh riiiiiiiight that’s my JOB) I’m open to suggestions on how to heal my leg faster. It’s difficult to get into massage and acupuncture as often as I’d like because of my work schedule. But I try.

So, my leg hurts and I’m feeling fat (not enough high energy shows burning calories as a result of the injury) Too bad I can't just throw on a comfy t-shirt and be done with it. No, I’m not actually fat- at all. But I am hormonal and female and if I want to have a fat day- I’m bloody well going to have a fat day.

I haven’t been writing about work lately. I suspect because for the most part it’s rather dull and repetitive. There are only so many ways to ask for sex for money. The customers tend to be predictable. This week we have a brand new rookie in the lineup and I’m finding it interesting to hear everything from fresh eyes. She’s totally green, and what shocks her, wouldn’t faze me. I’ve been living in the stripper world and it permeates how I interact with society. It has changed how I look at the world, how I perceive men, how I view sexual power. Becoming “The Stripper” changed me. It will change her too. The naivety will fade. I’m proud of Who I Am, but I wonder- will she be? Being confronted with such a fresh young girl, still so untouched by the harsh realities of this industry is both refreshing and saddening. It’s not an easy road, especially if the attitude is overconfident. She will stumble and fall a few times. The innocence will dissolve. “I’m different from those other girls. I’m just going to dance for a few months to make a quick buck.”

Uh huh… hey me too.

We’re all “different”. But the money comes, the lifestyle is incorporated. The money isn’t as fast as it originally seemed. The expenses are high. The lifestyle is pricy. The freedom is enjoyed. Many girls dance for a few months and quit, unable to handle the pressures of the job. Many dance for years longer than they intended. I certainly rethought my timeline. My answer to the question “How long do you plan on dancing?” isn’t what it used to be.

I’m going to dance as long as I love it, as long as it’s a positive experience, as long as I’m meant to.

As for actual work… well I’m back at the Drake this week. It’s familiar and cozy. The staff is great as always. It feels like home and I’m happy there. The patrons are generally quiet and alone. Nothing too exciting this week… Go to work, dance, sell a few private shows, giggle and gossip with my DJ, hide upstairs in the dressing room, read, write and be a nerd, chat with the girls and do it all again.

I do like my life.