Ryann Reflections

A glimpse into the life of one anti-social stripper nerd.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

it's the end

I have so much to say and it’s been building up for weeks but the reality is I’ve been too devastated and angry to say anything more than “Fuck you all!”

Mugs and Jugs is closing in a week. Unfortunately without that bar I can’t pay my bills dancing in Vancouver and I’m not physically able to travel anymore. So I’m forced to quit dancing because of finances.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I know I’m qualified I have the experience to do anything I want but all I want to do is dance. Every other job I’ve had has bored me to tears. I want to learn something everyday and feel passion and purpose in what I do. That’s what Stiletto Storm is going to be. But I have to survive and pay rent in the meantime. So I’m looking for a job. Anyone want to hire me?

Ironic isn’t it? The perception that strippers make a ton of money is so far from the truth in Vancouver it makes me sick. We’ve been circling the drain for a while now and I guess it’s finally happening. Politics is winning. The cities get to shut down strip clubs, take away safe work options for women, and congratulate themselves on doing so.

I should go paint the whole picture here but I’m just too exhausted. I look around Vancouver and what I see is a community at risk. Pickton is guilty. Big fucking deal! Women are still dying. They’re still disappearing. They’re still treated as disposable inconveniences.

And instead of protecting the most vulnerable women in our community the municipality prides itself on shutting down strip clubs and forcing women to make harder decisions. I’m already depressed and feeling desperate. All I have to take care of is my self and my dreams. I’m not a single mother—but a lot of my friends are.

The demise of strip clubs in Vancouver means the end of non-contact income for a lot of women. Think about that for a second. Think about it when you drive past one of the old ghost clubs. We used to be able to entertain for living. We used to dance to support our families, and our future. We used to strip on stage—safe. Those days are gone.

I have so much more to say… but I’m still too livid.

I’ll be at Mugs and Jugs Dec 27-29. I’ll be there to close the club and cry my heart out. We’ve lost so much more than a bar.

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  • At 2:38 AM, Blogger Ryann said…

    seriously. I'm looking for a job. email me if you can help.

  • At 5:40 AM, Blogger Glamourpuss said…

    Oh my. Your post highlights some important issues and some common misconceptions about exotic dance. I, too, am somehwat aghast at the widespread misogyny I see masking itself as 'morality'. No wonder you're angry. But have faith, the universe will provide - you're smart, sexy and strong; you cannot fail.


  • At 1:52 PM, Blogger KellyNerd said…

    I had no idea ... talk to you about it in person ...


  • At 6:29 PM, Blogger Anna said…

    I had no idea that m&j was closing (I had heard about the drake in the press). The only employment I could offer you is helping me look after three rugrats....

  • At 3:35 AM, Blogger thatgirl said…

    hey lovely lady. that sucks about mugs and jugs, but it's not the end. there are plenty more strip clubs around, no? there's the uranus lounge, that place seemed decent, and the old regular places like the cecil. plus, the suburbs have some good ones too, like the barnett in coquitlam. i'm sure you'll be able to find something, no?

    wouldn't it be awesome if you could do a regular gig like the one in the construction site? i think if puritan politics take over in vancouver (grrrr urggh) that kind of thing will probably become way more popular, although, it is a bit scary...

    hmm... if i think of anything else i'll let you know. i feel for you babe. vancouver can be such a cold, unkind place. but you are one amazing chick and you're gonna be ok. ok?

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Ryann said…

    Open in Vancouver there are...

    Cecil- prime real estate already planned demolition. it's just a matter of time
    Brandi's- open for now
    No5- rumour has it their lease is up
    Penthouse- Open.

    Uranus closed over a year ago, Barnett is closed, as is every other club except...

    In the outlying areas...
    Vinyl room
    Motor Hotel

    That's it. That's all.

  • At 1:23 PM, Blogger Ryann said…

    oops forgot the Paramount.

  • At 4:52 AM, Blogger Cairde said…

    I wish you all the luck in the world Ry. You have worked hard, something fantastic must come of it!

  • At 10:40 AM, Blogger Tyler said…

    Vinyl is now Butter but still offers exotic dancing.

    It is sad that Mugs n Jugs is closing. It was my first strip bar but unfortunately i wont be able to make it out on the last week. I was there previous week a couple times.

    Ryann what sort of work are you looking? I take it you're also looking to stay in the downtown sort of area too right?

  • At 6:13 PM, Blogger Freebird61 said…

    As sad as I was to hear that Mugs was closing, I am equally saddened to read that you will not be dancing anymore. Your assessment of the industry, and today's political climate was, of course, bang on the mark. I have enjoyed reading your "Reflections" as much as your watching your stage performances. I wish you good luck in finding another line of work. Hopefully, whatever you end up doing next will bring you peace and happiness.

    A fan

  • At 11:48 PM, Blogger KellyNerd said…

    Happy New Year Ryann! I hope 2008 brings some answers to you and those answers are better than you dreamed to hope for!

    big hugs

  • At 9:42 PM, Blogger Kristina said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 10:05 PM, Blogger Kristina said…

    Actually I just thought of something - why don't you teach?? I bet a lot of people would love to be instructed by you - you are great at what you do, plus pole dancing lessons have been known to increase self-esteem in women, plus its a really fun form of exercise. So you could still do what you love, and you wouldn't have to travel I guess right?? :D

  • At 9:32 PM, Blogger Faith said…

    Leaving the biz is hard. I know. I just left a couple of months ago for the same reasons as you. The bars aren't good for money any more and the good bars don't seem to exist anymore.
    You have a choice between a safe place to work or good money - the two don't seem to come together any more.
    I had to start at the bottom after 5 years of dancing. Minimum wage sucks and faking your resume sucks even more, but look at it this way having your clothes on at work isn't so bad after a while and you won't miss all the dumb drunks harassing you.
    There is live after stripping ... just hang in there, Ryanne.

    From Faith @ Mints.


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