it's the end

I have so much to say and it’s been building up for weeks but the reality is I’ve been too devastated and angry to say anything more than “Fuck you all!”

Mugs and Jugs is closing in a week. Unfortunately without that bar I can’t pay my bills dancing in Vancouver and I’m not physically able to travel anymore. So I’m forced to quit dancing because of finances.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I know I’m qualified I have the experience to do anything I want but all I want to do is dance. Every other job I’ve had has bored me to tears. I want to learn something everyday and feel passion and purpose in what I do. That’s what Stiletto Storm is going to be. But I have to survive and pay rent in the meantime. So I’m looking for a job. Anyone want to hire me?

Ironic isn’t it? The perception that strippers make a ton of money is so far from the truth in Vancouver it makes me sick. We’ve been circling the drain for a while now and I guess it’s finally happening. Politics is winning. The cities get to shut down strip clubs, take away safe work options for women, and congratulate themselves on doing so.

I should go paint the whole picture here but I’m just too exhausted. I look around Vancouver and what I see is a community at risk. Pickton is guilty. Big fucking deal! Women are still dying. They’re still disappearing. They’re still treated as disposable inconveniences.

And instead of protecting the most vulnerable women in our community the municipality prides itself on shutting down strip clubs and forcing women to make harder decisions. I’m already depressed and feeling desperate. All I have to take care of is my self and my dreams. I’m not a single mother—but a lot of my friends are.

The demise of strip clubs in Vancouver means the end of non-contact income for a lot of women. Think about that for a second. Think about it when you drive past one of the old ghost clubs. We used to be able to entertain for living. We used to dance to support our families, and our future. We used to strip on stage—safe. Those days are gone.

I have so much more to say… but I’m still too livid.

I’ll be at Mugs and Jugs Dec 27-29. I’ll be there to close the club and cry my heart out. We’ve lost so much more than a bar.