wonderful tonight

The music rises through the floor. I can feel the bass vibrations as I walk. Soon the music will fade and the crowd will disperse. Soon I will be able to sleep. I know it’s late in the evening because the harmony has improved. By now, the grinding has been replaced by intoxicated romance, and it’s time to secure a meaningful overnight relationship. I stop packing for a moment and absorb the lyrics. Secluded from the meat-market below me, I welcome the nostalgia. The song is lovely. I pause to remember another life.

“My darling, you look wonderful tonight”

It was a lifetime ago. That relationship was many things, but the memories linger. I remember being loved and cherished. It may have been an illusion, it may have been temporary, but when I hear certain songs I am drawn into an isolated memory. I remember feeling safe. I remember being adored. I remember a time when compliments touched me.


I wonder when “you’re beautiful” will mean something again, perhaps it won’t. Perhaps surface images will never hold the same value in my heart as they once did. I may be waiting for someone to see beyond the sex appeal and behind the academia. I may be waiting for someone to appreciate the flaws, the special idiosyncrasies that take time and effort to discover.

It’s been a good week, and I’ve made some good friends. I like the people here. I like the bar, and I like the town. My faith in humanity has gained a few points this week. Tonight I will rest, tomorrow I will drive.