Ryann Reflections

A glimpse into the life of one anti-social stripper nerd.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

I need to sleep

I look like a tramp. That is a tramp in care bear pajamas. Leftover smoky eyeliner is smeared across my eyelids and my cheek. It’s not classy but I don’t care. Stage makeup is never flattering after a nights work, but it was worth it for the full Cleopatra effect.

I’m tired-- body aching, eyelids heavy, brain foggy, crushing exhaustion tired. Yet I can’t sleep. I don’t even know what I’m thinking about but I’m in one of those moods. Wondering who I am, and why I do what I do. Wondering what I want and whether any of it is worth it. I’m not really having an existential crisis, just an ambition and homework mini-crisis. I’m not feeling very motivated to write papers or drop thousands of dollars into the educational abyss. I’m feeling a bit over my head with certain endeavors, but I’m sure it will pass.

I don’t have any answers; I don’t even really know what’s keeping me awake. There aren’t any real problems in my life, and everything I’ve taken on is on track and progressing as it should. I’m just feeling… exhausted and unsettled. I should sleep…



  • At 9:20 AM, Anonymous I am a Newfies Woman said…

    Yup, a good nite sleep is sounding so good to me..Prolly would do wonders for you too.....

    Off to dreamland little lady

  • At 9:34 PM, Blogger Cheeks Filibuster said…

    Hi Ryann, just want to thank you for your comment on my blog. I also want to say I really like your recent Fetish post, it all echoes what I've been observing for years. Yup, there's a fetish for anything out there (smoking, anyone?). cheers

  • At 8:59 AM, Anonymous Gölök "Phil Landers" Buday said…

    RD Laing
    Thomas (Tamas) SZasz
    PJ O'Rourke
    Many more of course, decent reads and
    can teach something.
    Ahh M. Cervantez (Don Quixote).
    Much of it can be a useful tool for
    self exploration.
    Even Gestalt.

    Ayn Rand I will not recommend in any other
    cases than to expand ones reference when
    having the time.

    "The first destroyer of the liberties of a people
    is he who first gave them bounties and largess."
    -- Plutarch (c.45-125 A.D.) Priest of the Delphic


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