grey

I am transported back in my mind. The sky is grey, and the ocean is muted. Strangers go about their day, exploring different ways to pass the time. The peaceful routine causes me to speculate, how many times I have been on this ship. How many days have I spent impulsively jumping on this ferry only to be lost in the emotional aftermath? How many trips have I spent gazing at the water emotionally raw, trying to regain composure? The constant vibrations and familiar scenery trigger so many memories. A year ago… I was lost. I was desperately grasping for the edge, despair nibbled holes in my heart.

Sitting in the corner, I am detached and isolated from the crowd around me. Headphones allow for full seclusion. The music is powerful. He thinks I haven’t heard this song before, he thinks it’s new to me. But I remember when he wrote it. I remember snapshots of time, bits of sentiment. I remember sitting, lost and exposed listening to him play it. I remember the turmoil and I remember sitting on this boat. I remember this song.

That was forever ago. It was a million identities ago.

I am so much stronger than I was.