Ryann Reflections

A glimpse into the life of one anti-social stripper nerd.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

'Us' and 'Them'

Sex with clowns is weird.
Sex with people dressed in giant bunny suits is weird.
Sex with a fat man in a diaper is weird.
CSI covers some rather strange topics...

Maybe I'm weird for watching... oooooh. Creepy. (so all you other people that watch are weird too)

I'm lost, but we all knew that. I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I've already had a few careers that could have been long term if I didn't get bored. I hate to think I'm closing doors and cutting myself off from careers by putting myself through school. In creating a financial position for myself that will give me numerous options, am I creating a societal stigma that will hinder my dreams?

Without having life handed to you on a sliver platter, is one expected to choose between integrity and success?


I forget sometimes how sheltered some people are... from silver spoon, to med school, to an all-expenses paid life in a bubble. I won't say a happy life because I don't believe that an easy life makes anyone happy... perhaps unprepared to empathize or survive. I can't help but think that a more independent and dynamic life would make for a better understanding and appreciation for humanity, and a better doctor... In my reality I am surrounded by accepting, and open-minded people. It's easy to forget how segregated our society is, as we obviously don't often cross paths with "others". I don't know that I want to be a doctor, but I don't ever want that choice taken from me based on my employment.

What is it that makes people so eager to judge and separate "us" from "them"? Why does this segregation pop up in almost every aspect of life? Do we define ourselves by who we are not?

Straight/ gay
Male/ female
Rich/ poor
Old/ young
Moral/ despicable

I wonder, do you think that when part of a marginalized group within society that it becomes more important to draw the lines and set the boundaries?

I've been reading 'The homeless guy'. http://thehomelessguy.blogspot.com/

He has some interesting insights, but I found the narrow recognition of who deserves to be called "homeless" rather limiting. For example... I am in the sex industry, but I will become defensive if it's suggested that I prostitute myself. When part of a group that is lumped together without definition, but with negative connotations, does it become a personal battle within the group to separate "us", from "them"?? Even though everyone's stories are valid, choices unique, and paths diverse?

I try to make a conscious effort to not feed the internal negativity. "I'm a dancer, she's a whore", because I don't feel it's productive and positive for anyone. Does hair splitting between who has ‘earned’ the right to be called homeless, and who has not, do anyone any good? Aside from isolating individuals within a group that is already isolated from society, what purpose does it serve? Does it create a homeless hierarchy?

Am I any less a part of the sex industry because I come from a good home? Does the fact that I have more choices available to me invalidate the experiences that come from being treated as an object? Yes, people’s experiences are different. Maybe the family that lost their house doesn’t truly understand the hopelessness of someone that has been totally abandoned, but does that make their experience less worthy of validation? Maybe the kid that ran away could go home; maybe his life wasn’t that bad. But, if he felt it intolerable to stay do his options, though perhaps not recognized internally, nullify his assertion of homelessness?

What purpose do labels and further segregation serve?

... I don't have an answer... I'm stuck on what "ought" to be.


  • At 11:40 AM, Blogger Cairde said…

    I read your attachment about the girl asking if she should mention her past employment on a medical school interview, and maybe I am naive, but I am shocked that so many people said not to mention it. She worked, that is all that should matter. I would hate to think it would affect her chances of being accepted to school as it would not affect her ability to be a good doctor. I am disappointed.....

  • At 3:17 PM, Anonymous tnt_rori said…

    Unfortunately lables are not only used to segragate groups of people but also do define ourselves. Being called a geek wasn't a good thing when I was in junior highschool, but now it's a badge of honour. "The breakfast club" addresses that quite well. Part of what we are is what we choose to show others, but to some extent we're all geeks, jocks, socialites & outcasts.
    The most bothersome part to me about the resume' concern is that in my experience, dancers have some of the highest integrity arround. They have a job to do, which is entertain & create an illusion and they keep their personal life out of the job.
    Does the fact that there is deception make them not trustworthy? Magicians are making a living by deceving people on a constant basis and I'm sure less people would object to hiring them, and they are just as deceptive.

  • At 12:34 AM, Blogger deepthoughts said…

    That was a very interesting and thought-provoking post. The labeling issue is one that I've pondered for a long time. I don't like it one bit. Honestly, I don't even like having to allocate music into genres even. It's too limiting. Pigeon-holing or hair-splitting as you say, in my mind serves no useful purpose. What's the point?

    Regarding the mentioning of dancing on a resume... it's hard to say. I think it will depend on what you are applying for and what kind of impression you want to make. Oftentimes it's ok to only put the relevant experience on a resume and then if it comes up in the interview or you are asked what you've been doing lately you could bring up the dancing and see how your interviewer reacts, face to face. You may get to see the prejudice in action. What fun!

    The point tnt_rori made about magicians is interesting. It's true about the deception, but I think what it all comes down to is sex, and how uptight people are about sex. I mean, if you were a dancer in like music videos or something, it wouldn't be so much of a problem I don't think. But it's the association with sex that gets peoples knickers in a knot so to speak. And that's because people are still carrying around all kinds of guilt and shame about sexuality. Which personally I wish everyone would just get over already. Fuck. (Literally as well as figuratively)

    The cover of the Georgia Straight is talking about some guy who's crusading to get people to get over their issues with sex. Haven't read it yet but I'm excited about this crusade. I wish people were more open-minded. Good luck with everything anyway. I think you have a lot to offer the world.

  • At 11:41 PM, Blogger Ryann said…

    rori, you rock.

    deepthoughts, I might have to get my hands on that article it sounds interesting

  • At 9:45 AM, Blogger Ryann said…

    pita... I'm always disappointed when humanity disappoints me.. guess I'm naive too

  • At 5:40 PM, Blogger Sin said…

    I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't, cause you see, I only ever had a job in dancing, and like other dancers, most of us were not born with a silver spoon in our mouth, so I have my reasons why I dance too. I have not been able to get a job because of no experience, that being that I didn't mention dancing. So, from my experience or lack thereof- lol, I guess it wouldn't hurt me anymore to mention dancing, because any experience with work is better than none, right?


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